Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
