She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
