so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
