its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
