Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
