About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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