My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
