Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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