You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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