If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
