shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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