Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
