it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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