quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's like iHOP with fire
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
