Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
