How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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