I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
