its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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