im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize