I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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