somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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