Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
