when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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