have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
