Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
