My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
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