If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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