Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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