That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize