Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
