Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
