i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
