so explain again why im purple
no
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
