I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
