you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
