i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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