Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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