i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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