You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
A bitchslap is in order.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
