if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
