you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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