Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize