i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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