i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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