yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
