Im at strip club and am horny
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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