I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
