You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
