He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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