I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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