New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
