just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
