The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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