Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
