Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
