just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
being pregnant is like rehab
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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